diamonds: writing between me and someone else
five: firsts and lasts
2 on the die: this writing is public.
[words carried across the sea, to someone who would never hear them.]
(content warning for death and allusions to graphic violence)
I died today.
At least, I think I did. I cannot be altogether sure, as I have never died. This was my first time, if such a thing exists.
It was so instantaneous I cannot even begin to explain how it happened. I was separated from my travelling companions of the moment and lost in the darkness of the woods. I was unsure if I should find them first or if I should try and find my way out, but the choice was taken away from me when I heard a fearsome sound behind me— something so horrible I cannot even begin to name it. I tried to run but it was over so suddenly I do not think I made it that far at all, and I thought that was it. That it was all over.
And then I woke up, in the forest, missing much of what I had been carrying apart from my staff, in slowly ebbing pain. I sat up and everything hurt, but the wounds that should have killed me had not.
But they did. I know they did. I cannot describe what I saw during those minutes I was fallen but I know that I was so close to death I could nearly feel Her kiss. But I didn’t. I came back, in pain, and aching with the loss of that peace.
Is that what you feel now that you are dead, Mazarine?
I hope so. I am very sorry to have lost it but I believe you deserve it.
